I’m in agony – I’m in more agony than a kidney stone or giving birth, both of which I have experience of, so I am a fairly reliable witness on this point!
This agony has been inflicted on me by a ‘professional’, paid good money I may add, to relieve a lesser agony caused by my bouncing unceremoniously from the back of a horse last Tuesday at 4.37 pm, when horse and I had a directional difference of opinion and each of us chose a different one. The last time I met the ground in this fashion was 1991. Then I bounced a lot better than I did this time. This time, despite the extra padding of too many bars of Fruit & Nut I did not bounce. I hit the ground with a splat and the reverberating shock waves shattered all my bones into a million pieces. In fact I’m typing this from the bucket in which Himself now has to carry me around, much like a lumpy jelly. Anyway, he got fed up with my whimpering and took me to a Chiropractor to be reassembled.
Ha! Now I really know what pain is. And he thinks this will stop me buying another horse. Dream on sunshine, I just need a more expensive one (with a compass).
Once I can move again that is.
17 comments:
I think Vicus and I had decided on fairly thick carpets in the retirment home, so you should bounce when you fall over.
OUCHEE! Splat hurts.
Isn't going to a Chiroquacktor just as dangerous as horseback riding?
Chirosnaptic treatment is based on the purely philosophical notion, NOT scientific, that back cracking
(spinal manipufrickinlation) can treat just about any illness from asthma to autism.
Dave - carpet gives burns (so I've heard) a padded cell may be more appropriate.
HE - do I take it your not a fan of chiropractologyologyhurtoly? Many people swear by it - do you have evidence I can show Himself that it's quackery?
I used to visit one for my bad shoulder - look at me now, I can bowl with no pain at all.
and me Dave, I'm living in a bucket!
I think horse-riding is second only to angling in the "sports which necessitate a visit to A&E" league.
word ver=eqoni which is close enough to equine to comment on
Oh hun, it's typical just after we'd been talking about it. It happened to me last week as well.
It is a fact universally acknowledged that after the age of 15, the bouncing stops and the cracking begins...
I think the secret is not to talk about falling off ...
As Denis Norden once said... "Maybe it's a big horse. I'm a Londoner!"
I fell from a Shetland pony once. I'm a short person so it was a long fall.With Thelwellian grace.
RD - fishing is a dangerous sport?? is it the hooks? or the drowning? . . . killer pike perhaps?
MM boo hoo - didn't buy that one! although to be fair she was sweet and I was stupid
M - that's nearly as painful as my bum!
DM - I wish this had been a shetland! You must indeed be short or were at the time - mind you it wasn't the falling that hurt so much as the landing.
ouch!
I fell off a horse once into a muddy puddle, it kind of broke my fall but ruined my outfit (think the label was M&S, so maybe it wasn't such a dreadful thing)
hope you feel better soon and in the mneatime make sure Himself looks after you!
would it hurt if I hugged you?
(((((((((( z ))))))))))))))
ooh!
morning!
Oooooh. Rude photos.
You'd better lean against the score board today.
Riding a horse is a prelude to riding in a hearse, isn't it?
The closest I get to equines now is when I write about horseracing.
Lovely animals. But big. Oh, and the play Equus was quite good.
That's one big bruise on what appears to be your butt. I hope you get well, Bucket Girl.
It's a MIRACLE!
I see an image of St. Hubbins, patron saint of quality footwear, in that nasty bruise.
Keep applying the nicely warmed, poultice, also called a cataplasm, on your 'tenderized round'.
I trust that Himself found the key ingredients of the materia medica at the local Apothecary's Shop?
How hard could it be to find Ocelot Spleen, Wolf Nipple Chips, Placentia Bovinsky, and of course Sinjin's Wort, in your neck of the woods?
((((((z))))))))
sometimes bruises get worse before they get better don't they- hope it's not too bad?
xx
"a directional difference of opinion"
heh! Last time i went riding I was 10 years old and the horse wouldn't do a thing I told it to do, and instead plodded back into its stable with me still in the saddle. Those were the days.
Give the Chiropractor a kick up the ass from me. Or rather, get someone outside your bucket to do it instead...
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