Help!
I’m either going mad or, even worse, turning into a man.
The printer in our IT suite, which is the same as mine in the office, is irreparably broken.
I noticed the Head heading out with it.
“Where are you going?” I squealed
Head: “I’m dumping it! You said it was broken!”
Me: “It is, but I might be able to use it for spares!”
Silence . . .
Me: “Did I say that out loud?”
Head: “mmmmmmm - AND - last week I saw you IN the skip!”
Me: “noooooooo”
Head: “AND! Furthermore you were the one who was most excited when the new PE shed came. The caretaker was not impressed that you wouldn’t let him anywhere near.”
Me: “?**!”
Head: “I have also been meaning to ask why you have ordered a socket set, screwdrivers, and spanners from the admin budget.”
Perhaps at 105 my female type hormones are on the decrease and that’s causing the problem; but I think the rot really set in with the chainsaw. I love it.
We have a lot of very tall very thin trees that really (really, really) need chopping down.
Whenever the wind blows strongly I find myself (recently) getting exciting that a tree may blow down and I will be able to chop it up!
I bought Himself a nail gun for Christmas and I’m the only one that’s used it.
I find myself browsing the tool aisle in DIY stores and I want a cordless drill (who doesn’t?).
When watching sport on telly, I’ve suddenly realised that the noise of shouting I can hear is me. And, I can’t remember the last time I could be bothered to sit through a soap opera.
Worst of all - I find that I’m switching on the tv / radio / pc to watch / listen / read the NEWS.
Most women my age fear they are turning into their mother, I'm turning into my dad.
Is there any hope at all?
p.s. we’re 53 for 0 (14.3 overs) no-one else here is interested.
16 comments:
Thank you for the score update. Did we win the toss?
Oestrogen + Chainsaw = red alert
Oh dear!
You could always do your chainsawin' in a big poofy beautiful pink chiffon dress from the 60s to prevent flying wood chips from nicking your freshly shaven legs.
"I cut down trees,
I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa!
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.."
Ziggi, no, there is no hope. However, if you would like to bring the chainsaw to Miami, I have a couple of stumps that need to be removed from my back yard so please feel free to go at them. Who is Head?
*reminds self to add "purchase of new tool kit" to list of things to buy once divorced*
*makes mental note to ask zzzzz for recommendations on power drills, screwdrivers, etc etc and - most importantly! - a nice easy opening box to store them in*
thanks for that z
Dave we lost the toss but it was 183 for 2 just now - litttle Alistair Cook is doing very well despite his irritating letters from America.
Murph - I think it's a lack of oestrogen or maybe I'm just mad.
HE - I am a girlie!
Carmy - the Head is my boss the Headmaster - he's very worried about me - he told me just now.
ILTV - I have to admit that my ex gave me a tool box as a leaving present - he would never let me loose with tools when I was his - luckily Himself is much more enlightened and keeps a safe distance.
158 for 2 !
I don't know where 183 came from - wishful thinking I guess!
200-3 will do though... phew, I'm not turning into my mum then.
You don't actually like cricket, do you?
I like the idea of cricket, and Pimm's and warm summer days ...
However, after working for sometime in an office full of lads, I found I had unconsciously learned things I had no desire to know, things about football. It was as if they'd gone in by osmosis ...
I thought you were writing a post about me! ("But enough about me -- what about you? What do you think about me?") Maybe you're my long lost twin of different parents.
I'm not allowed to use the "heavy" equipment these days in case my arthritic hands drop things.But while you're in the area, would you please pick up a Dremmel (dental) drill for me.I need one for arty stuff...
OMG those Dremmel drills with all the itty bitty little bits - I sooooo want one - sadly I have no idea what for . . .
Adrea If I was your twin I would be able to do my own pictures! How come you inherited all the talent eh?
MM- I have to watch the cup final tomorrow and we (Man U (I have to call them 'we'(it's a rule))) HAVE to win because I'm looking a new horse next week and Himself needs to be happy!
SAHD - yes Mr Cook is doing stirling work - I like when the test is on if gives me something to do at work besides read blogs
When you reach the point where you start to make patronising remarks about women's poor navigational skills and the way they can't stop bloody talking on the phone and why do they have to have so many beauty products in the bathroom cabinet and why does it take them hours to get ready if they're going out in the evening and why do they change their minds about things every five minutes and why don't they understand that watching Sky Sports for ten hours at a stretch is mind improving compared to all those stupid soaps women watch?
That's the time to start worrying.
You are a girlie!
Do you mean to tell me that this isn't ghost written by some dude like A Girl With A One Track Mind was?
Boy do I feel stupid.
Yes! Powertools Baby, powertools. Rev up the chain saw, brrrrrrr.
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