I’m in agony – I’m in more agony than a kidney stone or giving birth, both of which I have experience of, so I am a fairly reliable witness on this point!
This agony has been inflicted on me by a ‘professional’, paid good money I may add, to relieve a lesser agony caused by my bouncing unceremoniously from the back of a horse last Tuesday at 4.37 pm, when horse and I had a directional difference of opinion and each of us chose a different one. The last time I met the ground in this fashion was 1991. Then I bounced a lot better than I did this time. This time, despite the extra padding of too many bars of Fruit & Nut I did not bounce. I hit the ground with a splat and the reverberating shock waves shattered all my bones into a million pieces. In fact I’m typing this from the bucket in which Himself now has to carry me around, much like a lumpy jelly. Anyway, he got fed up with my whimpering and took me to a Chiropractor to be reassembled.
Ha! Now I really know what pain is. And he thinks this will stop me buying another horse. Dream on sunshine, I just need a more expensive one (with a compass).
Once I can move again that is.
