x marks the spot

The sister of Himself is getting married next year. We don’t see that much of her. Not only because she lives several counties away but she has a busy life and the mutual available weekends are few. Also, I don’t know if they like each other that much. Still, she phoned last week (and I listened in) to say she was contemplating her wedding guest list and she thought, that all things being equal, she wouldn’t invite the ex of Himself and what did he think? Himself, a kind man of tact and diplomacy did not say alleluia I should bloody well think not but said that it was her wedding and she must invite whomever she pleased. However she pressed the point saying surely we would prefer it if Moaning Myrtle was left out of the proceedings. Himself held his ground, feeling (correctly) that he was being drawn into the ‘blame’ position. It was clear that what dear sister required was an excuse to leave MM off the list. But she needed a reason she could justifiably say was entirely and completely not at all down to her.

A slight sweat broke out on the brow of Himself as she continued to question him closely regarding the matter, but he kept his nerve and reiterated that it wasn’t his decision and that whatever we thought, it had no bearing on the guest list. She’s a canny lass though, his sister, and a blame-shifter of expert proportions. She nattered on a bit then confided to Himself that she thought Ziggi would prefer it if MM wasn’t there, because she (not me, MM) can make things very awkward and Himself found himself saying that he didn’t think I was thrilled by the thought. And just like that the weight of blame dropped straight on to me, because that was enough for dear sister, she had the excuse she needed.

Oh in that case, she said, I understand your feelings exactly I wouldn’t dream of inviting her if it will upset Z, I’ll just tell MM that you feel it wouldn’t be fair on Z after all she is your legitimate wife now (how I kept from making my feelings known at this point is entirely due to the fact that this conversation was going on in the bathroom and I was in the bath and Himself pushed me under). Hang on a minute! says Himself but the line had gone dead.

Today, when we dropped off the children of Himself, MM launched herself like a spitting cobra, and announced to us, and anyone within about 5 miles, how we had no right to stop her going to the wedding and furthermore we had (apparently) objected to her visiting, and being visited by, any of Himself’s family (thanks dear sister, why waste a good excuse on just the one item eh?) She was not interested in hearing anything Himself had to offer by way of feeble explanation and I kept quiet in case I was tempted to point out that it is in fact His family; and also I only thought of all the clever, pertinent, witty, cutting, things to say once we were safely on our way home.

Families eh? and another bloody wedding, I’m sick of them.