I tried for many years to set a good example to my children - it was no fun at all. Since I’ve moved to the 'don’t do as I do or you’ll end up like me' philosophy, I hope to have much better results. I fully expect them to be happily married to a rich, respectable, hardworking, kind and generous man (one each obviously, and only the once) with the requisite number of children after obtaining first class degrees in a fine profession that they can practice whilst enjoying motherhood. To always recycle, consider others, drink in moderation, eat in moderation, exercise regularly and go to heaven, probably having died of boredom.
On the other hand I can’t deny that life has been so much more fun since I fell off the rails and on reflection I shall tell them to do what they damn well please as long as they’re kind to dumb animals including their mother.
13 comments:
Oh Ziggy, somehow I have ambivalent feelings about this. I am laughing but I also feel sadness, because I see myself in this post. My lofty goals have been reduced to trite expressions such as: "Please be safe"; "Protect yourself"; "Do your best next time"; "You realize this is a mistake, now learn its lessons", etc. I wonder how my Mother did it with eight children...and I only have two, but I am at a disadvantage, I am raising my children in America.
I told all of my kids the TRUTH about my misspent youth and it seems to have worked...touch wood... atleast on my 16,19, and 21 yr olds...
my five year old can't for the life of him figure out why skipping out of physics class in high school to enjoy a few tokes and a threeway would be any fun..
plus he has stated, and quite emphatically I might add, that he would never ever ever ever (his phrase) drink Tequila Paralyzers for breakfast even if they do taste like chocolate milk!..well they sort of do.
Ces, I don't think you have to worry! Your house is full of light and love and laughter - I think your children will be just fine!
HE - I'm misspending my youth now having missed the misspending it when I shudda! Doesn't make for a fine example but a lot more interesting!
Oh Ziggy, you are most kind!
I think you've nailed it there ziggi. Setting a good example is incredibly tedious, also they are pretty good at spotting lapses. As someone once put in a song 'love is all you need', who was that again?
RD - All you need is love
and unlimited funds.
Just wait till you have teenagers -you'll look back on your worry about blankets and bras as a time when you were enjoying the challenges of children!
HA!
My son is cosmic revenge on me for my wayward youth. Especially the part where he plays the tuba well and loud. >B^D>
I was careful to keep all my dark secrets well hidden from Jack lest he try and follow in my footsteps. It worked a treat until my mother went and opened her nouth and blabbed the lot. Why else do you think I let him host the Prom party?
You're doing a great job of earning yourself a house guest one weekend. I'll bring wine, of course.
My mantra has been, "If you think you screwed up, listen to what I did..."
Of course I give them hell when they screw up, particularly in school.
But then I soften the blow somewhat when I tell them I failed French and barely passed typing...
Then they know the three of us are human and if Dad could be THAT bad, if Dad could get suspended from school, what I did isn't so bad but I'd better straighten up...
And not fall of the rails til I'm an adult.
Oh Ziggi, now you've got me on one of my favourite topics.
First let's nail these concepts of 'screwed up' and 'falling off the rails'. Life happens and you learn along the way, or not as the case maybe.
My Mum just let me fly when I was a kid and I am so grateful to her for having the guts to do that. Most of the hassle people give their kids is cos they are trying to live their ideas through their kids lives. Provide a loving environment and leave them be to develop and grow into what they are. Just look at religion to see what a load of crap it is to put ideas into your kids heads.
Sorry to rant so early in the morning - you got my achilles heel there with that post.
Life does happen but mostly I think we influence what happens in our lives by our actions, whether we mean to or not. I was too scared to live anything but a fairly blamesless, and consequently uninteresting youth - at 40 I realised that being dead would probably be more exciting, so I climbed out of the box (the box of my own making) and flew. My only regret is that it caused hurt to those who deserved better and I should have had the guts to follow my star much sooner. Hence the gist of this blog was that I don't want to confine my children by rubbish middle-class values that so hampered me and that they must live the life that makes them happy and fulfilled. I despite the look on my face I think the tattoo and piercings look alright . . .really . . .well in the dark!
we did the same as homoE. living as we do, the only way my daughter had to rebel was to become a born again christian and join the Republican party. she grew up wrenching harleys and working on cars with her dad, i skipped her out of school to go see art exhibits, i bought her a tattoo for her graduation present and now she's an engineer. one who bought her father a set of screens and some rolling papers for a xmas stocking stuffer. sigh.
btw: we need to talk, chicklet. when you have a moment, get ahold of me at
redace1960@yahoo.com
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