I can’t be just me, can it?
LloydsTSB the bank who can’t be trusted to do the simplest thing.
I logged on-line on Friday and beheld my name correctly spelt.
Oh! The excitement,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
I could hardly contain myself.
In fact, so deep was my delight that I logged on again on Saturday to show Himself, even risking him glimpsing the balance. That’s just how pleased I truly was.
And guess what? Go on, you never will!
Imagine my surprise to find they had changed the spelling again!
I wrote to them today.
I wrote phrases like “difficult to find an employee with an IQ higher than their shoe size” and “imbecile” and “brainless” and “WHY?” and my name in VERY BIG CAPITAL LETTERS.
I don’t suppose for one minute it will make any difference but I enjoyed writing it. I refrained from “Fucking useless bunch of tossers who couldn’t find their own arses even with directions” I’m saving it for my next letter.
(Himself says I should take out a large loan quickly and then refuse to pay it back on the grounds it wasn’t me, d’you think that would work?)
13 comments:
Good for you, we are all right behind you, Zuggi.
i think taking out a large load is a brilliant idea. i always feel better after a huge shit.
Wunch of Bankers.
You should transfer to a good building society like Northern Rock.
I am interested to see exactly how you plan to tie in all of this Bank stuff with the fascinating discussion we were having about your breasts only moments ago?
That's it! Go down to the bloody Bank and titnopyse, I mean hypnotise, some wide eyed little wanker into fixing the whole bloody mess...
and throw in a shopping for all of your troubles.
I was wondering about the large load too. . .
. . .nothing to do with the size of your bamboozles, eh zig?
(it's OK really!! banks are sodding useless, unless - like my good self - one banks with First Direct. . . who are FAB!!!! but then I've never had to change my name, so who knows how crap they'll be should that day ever come. . . g*d help me)(or them)(actually, in my experience most commercial companies are pretty useless - lots of sales people trying to sell you stuff you don't want, but never someone they can send around to fix a problem when you have one)(and if vicus picks me up on "commercial" companies, I'll bore you with the explanation)
:-D
Chaucer's Bitch beat me to it... But aren't you glad to know that we're scrutinising your writing right down to the SPELLING. :) OK, typing.
Merchant bankers! Take Himself's advice,Ziggy.
I suppose a loan would be easier
;-)
Invoice them £30 for the letter you have sent and then charge them a £10 penalty for every day that they fail to spell your name correctly. If they argue you can say "Well, it's what you do so it must be equitable".
If that fails, just go down to the branch and kill everyone.
Did Freddie deliver the letter?
God Ziggi, I'd like to be the boy behind the counter when you arrive down there all steamed up. Mmmmmmmmmmm that'll keep him going for weeks.
yup. same shit, different country. I am still trying to persuade our primary bank that i'm married.
i guess i look shacked up or something.
I'm going to have to agree with H.E. on this ... I mean, financial institutions are interesting and all, but if breasts were an option, I'd much rather have that (those?) as the topic of discussion.
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