While all the children plus BF of FB were with us at the weekend we were discussing wedding plans as you do. Mostly the conversation revolved around what to wear. Not me, you understand, but them. So far BF of FB wants to wear top hat and tails (ye gods), FB wants something ‘dramatic’, SB wants everyone to match (I can’t stand it) but no lilac allowed. Himself’s daughter (HD from now) wants a princess or fairy outfit so does HS. I want to run and hide but have said people can wear whatever they want and can fight it out amongst themselves. As a result Himself says he’s wearing his Man U shirt, HS is going as Jack Sparrow so he can wear eyeliner and a frilly shirt, FB is joining BF in the top hat and tails department, SB is going shopping with HD and I am going on a diet.
So then on Tuesday SB and I went to visit the venues available for weddings in the locality. They’re, in a word, rubbish unless you have many £1000s to spare which we don’t. So we had a look at the local registry office and it was rather nice! So while we were there I provisionally booked the date. Luckily they only had a Friday available so that means we don’t have to invite anyone else – yippeeee! I hope my boss will let me have the day off.
The plan then is for it to be very small and intimate on the Friday, it started as just us 7 but my lifelong friend said she was coming so now we’re 8; and then a party at home / in the pub on the Saturday for the dreaded rellies and our other friend. That way we can parade our finery a second time.
I’m absolutely sure there are going to be a myriad of objections to this but, do you think this is a plan?
(And I don’t want to hear any sympathy for the woman who considers herself to be the centre of the known universe, whose every order should be obeyed and who believes she is right in every single matter pertaining to life the universe and everything; and who loves above any other thing, playing the victim – she’s going to just love this – grrrrrr)
21 comments:
Actually, a week later would suit me better, as I've got some holiday booked from the 10th.
You're a bit far from N.Norfolk for me to pop over for the day, just to make sure everything's done legal and all.
Still, saves buying you a present.
Oh, and congratulations.
It is absolutely the best sort of wedding and far more fun than just one big (and dreadfully stressful) day. You will be able to enjoy both occasions - after three such weddings in our own family, I can speak from experience.
And if there is one time when people should be able to make their own choice, it's about their wedding.
Himself must be counting his blessings every day, to have found you after the dreary Moaning Minnie.
It reminds me of this which had several Moaning Myrtle comments which had to be deleted.
good lord Murph, I wasn't thinking of anything that fancy, Mr P was wearing a jacket! Mrs R looked lovely but I am not allowed anything resembling puple.
Dave - thanks
Z - I do hope so! Himself probably needs his head examining, there's no fool like a young fool!
It sounds perfect. What time do you want me to pick up the button-holes?
I think a pirates themed wedding is pure genius ziggi. 'Do you take this woman to be your wife?' 'AAAAAARRRH!'.. and then when the registrar pronounces them man and wife BF can thrown FB over his shoulder and carry her off and ravish her in his hammock...
CP - bugger the button holes but if you're Any good at opening fizz then the job's yours!
RS - I do fancy dressing up like Elizabeth Swan and Himself certainly has penchant for Keira, it's a thought . . . especially as it's me that's getting married and not FB.
Thank God! A human wedding, no bridezilla but ex is bossy.
Weddings are a good occasion for Moaning Myrtles to get their teeth stuck into, aren't they? If the wedding's *too* small, they're put out. If the wedding's *too* big it's "showing off". There's a chance to complain about the date being inconvenient, the venue being inappropriate, the wrong people being invited, the outfits being vulgar or unsuitable. In fact, just by getting married, you're providing Moaning Myrtles with a chance to moan. It's usually the only fun they get in life.
I'm all for men wearing eyeliner.
Of course it helps if they look like Johnny Depp.
whata mistakea to makea! - note to self; don't read blogs unless paying proper attention. I'm going to lie down in a dark room now.
It sounds superb!
Ignore the 'centre of her universe' and just enjoy the schadenfreude...aahhh.
I love the idea of costumes since traditional matri-moan-ial costumes are so ridiculous and still reflect that princess myth.
HELLO!
I can't wait to hear the vows that you and Cherry will script for the big day.
Congratulations to one an all. Thank goodness that your plans are designed to eliminate the de rigueur pageantry that most often devolves into something painfully Kafkaesque ie."marked by a senseless, disorienting, often menacing complexity"
Hurrah!
If you are doing a pirate wedding you shoudl wait until International Talk Like a Pirate Day
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/
Just one question...will you be riding Freddie right up to the registrar's desk, or will you tether him outside?
Congrats and good luck,Ziggi.(Soon to be addressed as Mrs. Himself?)
pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!pirate wedding!
*races off to purchase eyepatch*
Ces - well almost human!
Betty - we haven't told anyone yet on the grounds the longer we leave it the fewer people will be free - is that awful? Then of course the poo will fly ho hum.
MJ - yep and yep!
RS - ha ha ha it's the gin I expect
HE - you know I only ever understand about 1/2 of what you say but thank you!
MM - 19 Sep is too soon! I need time to grow some nails and slim down (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA no chance!)
D - Freddie is being an usher, he's ushering all the miscreants into the mud and then biting them. Fern and Suze are also bridesmaids apparently.
FN - oh yes! and a hook and a parrot - where d'you think I can get a foul mouthed parrot?!
Are we going to have to endure months of wedding talk now?
Can't Freddie do something really naughty, like take a bite out of a Cherry Pie or something, so we have some interesting news to read?
probably Dave - but you can always slide on by - no need to stop if you don't like it.
Incidentally do you think I should go for just the false hook or add a wooden leg for authenticity? I don't want to appear vulgar by having too many accessories.
Minnie - Myrtle - my fingers and brain don't work together. *sigh*
re: parrot requirement. There was a naughty lad in Notting Hill who taught budgies rude words, then sold them to his friends.
*happy contented sigh*
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH for pirate weddings!! (there's a talking parrot in a pub in Cornwall. . . or how about teaching Freddie or Suze some bad language to go with their bad behaviour!)
false wooded leg definitely* - you could get your friends to graffitti messages of love and luck on it (bit like a plaster cast) and then hang it on the wall as a momento of the day! (and you needn't bother buy new shoes for the day, could just nick a tester shoe)(saving your budget for the bubbly allowance)(or maybe your wedding is one occasion where you should throw thrift to the wind along with caution!)
(*unless of course, you didn't manage to grow your nails in time, in which case the false hook might come in handy)
congratualtions and a big hug!
Post a Comment