There is always much advice abounding about how you shouldn’t meet up with strangers you’ve met on t’internet.
And Very Good Advice it is too.
I reiterate time and time again to my daughters the dangers of strangers purporting to be something they’re not; and if they were ever so foolish as to arrange to meet someone they had never met, who claimed to be a 36 year old vicar of wholly good intentions and captain of the local cricket team, I would laugh like a drain and point out that I did not bring them up to be so naïve or so dim.
But I'm doing just that. It must be because I believe he's who he says he is, and I believe that because I've read his blog.
So why are blogs different to chatrooms? Is the fact that eventually, if you read someone’s blog for long enough, despite the meanders into the realms of fantasy, you can get a certain measure of the person?
So, hands up, who thinks Dave really is:
a) A vicar (although not 36) of wholly good intentions?
b) A nutter complete with axe and wholly bad intentions who will leave a trail of chopped bloggers in his wake as he criss-crosses the country in his souped up death wagon?
I tell you what, he better be a) because if I’ve spent ALL DAY dusting, hoovering, cleaning, washing, ironing, making scones, gardening, tidying, just for some murdering maniac who probably won’t even notice the effort, I shall be extremely displeased to say the least.
Heck, I’ve just noticed a cobweb on the crystal chandelier . . .
12 comments:
He is neither of those. He is actually Cilla Black, doing research for a new series on gullibility.
Make sure you post the photographs.
Ah, but you have Himself to protect you and three hosses to set upon him ...
I do hope he is not a mad axe-murderer because tomorrow I hope to have my computer back and I'll be devastated if Dave and Ziggi are not there for the reading.
Of course, Vicus may be right and you'll find yourself answering Scouse questions into an egg beater.Or something.
Customers who purchased DAVE may also be interested in the following recommendation:
East is East by C. Day-Veast
Norfolk 'n Good by Mr Murph
Is Jeremy Clarkson Shit or is it Me? by Mrs Clarkson
Apres Dave le Deluge by Pru Denshall
Does Dave exist? by R. Dawkins
...and did you know that you could resell DAVE and get £0.74 ?
Also, please check to see if your kitchen has a rev counter.
er,
that's it...
purchased? No-one mentioned I'd have to pay aswell - I may just be out!
My car has a Rev counter - does it count the number of visiting revs or how often they go round (the bend?)
A. Definately A. He's just left mine and i can vouch for his credentials.
hoovering and dusting? DAMN YOU! my flat was an embarassing mess and i burnt the scones.
***slinks off to indulge feelings of inadeqate hostess abilities***
And if he's fussy, he can do the fucking cleaning when he gets here. I will not work on the sabbath day for him, that's for sure.
Do you have any advice?
Ha! Here I am, telling you that this place is spotless, and I failed to note any untideness and CB's place eiher.
Is that OK Ziggi? You can put the shotgun down now.
if he comes here he can have a burrito. i may or may not vacuum, though.
If he comes here he can meet me AND First Nations! We'll have a par-tay!
I might even make scones.
after he finished the gin he started on the vodka matinis (shaken not stirred he told me - I had to nip off and by a cocktail shaker specially)then he complained about a pea under the mattress, the lack of silk bedlinen and the insufficient fluffiness of the towels. In the morning the the lack of kedgeree caused consternation so I've choked him on the toast and buried him under the patio.
oooh--ziggi meets dave. it's all good, and you know it.
where would i be without ces, afterall?
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