about the bath

Himself is away on a conference, so on returning from a hard day at the school rockface I decided that a long indulgent bath was called for. I turned on the tap for the bath to fill, poured in my best bubbles, and then nipped round checking on the various dependents filling up bowls, dishes, bottles, buckets, toughs, haynets and then stripped off and jumped in. It was bloody freezing. I vacated said bath in the manner of a Harrier jump-jet and cursed my luck that the sodding boiler should break the minute Himself was out the door for 3 days.

I fetched my trusty spanner and took the front and top off the boiler and waved it at it. I tapped a few likely looking parts and moved and wiggled a few levery things, pressed the water button and lo it fired up! I shot into the bathroom and turned on the tap again – still freezing. I pour a glass of wine to help me figure out how the water entering the boiler was obviously being heated but the water coming out of the tap was freezing cold.

I returned to the boiler and turned it off -

and then I turned it on again –

no doubt about it, it was annoyingly roaring into life but obviously failing in its duty to deliver hot water to where it was required.

I sipped my wine and inspiration struck; I decided to try some other hot taps and surprisingly the one in the kitchen was working fine –

must be a problem with the bathroom then I deduced and took my spanner in there for another look.

And indeed it was a problem with the bath tap – I could see it straight away.

I’d turned on the cold one.

There will come a time (fairly shortly I feel) when I no longer realise that I’m losing my mind; it will just be lost and I won’t know about it. Not that long ago the thought of not being in charge of my faculties, such as they were, filled me with dread, now I’m quite looking forward to the not knowing that I’m slowly (slowly? Who am I kidding?!) degenerating before my own eyes (as long as I’m standing at arms length from myself, otherwise I can’t focus).