I am in Salusbury Hospital yet again. I have spent a long time in here this year and it is mostly boring. So the other night when I couldn't sleep I decided to undraft the blogs that I had made drafts when somebody had upset me and I took them all down.
Unfortunately they didn't reblog as their original dates but as today or yesterday or whenever, which of course makes sense.
I've enjoyed rereading them and the comments, but they were written by a different person in a different life who was covering up a world of pain.
Even though I say it myself I made quite a convincing job of it, didn't I?
Now, though, I have been given an ultimatum by the fine Drs; die or get better. Unfortunately the latter is beyond the current remit of the beleaguered NHS so my other option is to succumb. My lovely oncologist and Dr Dreamy her side kick estimate maybe two weeks to a couple of months. I won't tell you how long ago the two weeks were but I'm still here and how I wish I could go home.
Other than not feeling remotely ready, or even ill enough I'm really a tad concerned about the whole damn process and still can't believe it's happening to me.
The lovely Z and the lovely Mig, old blogging chums are coming to see me, and my lovely, lovely daughters for whom things are much harder than for me, zip about the county holding everything together.
I wonder what I'd be doing today if I wasn't in here and didn't know?
11 comments:
Oh, pooh! I don't like being first comment.Other people say things so much better they make it easier for me.
But it's not about ME is it? It's about you. I wish I could do something....
When I met you I couldn't believe this was happening to you either.... you are so full of life, loveliness, and good humour. It isn't fair.
I'm pleased we met, I wish we could have met sooner.
Spend your days doing whatever you want, blog rude things and swear a lot (probably what I'd do!), whatever you do, you'll be doing it your way, and with hell of a lot of style.
Sxxxx
No words.
Inarticulate caring.
Well, you're going home, at least. See you tomorrow xxx
See ya later 'gator xx
Hey darling
Sending you much love with Z.
You're in my heart darling.
xxx
We all knew you were ill but this is still a shocking thing to read. Truly sorry. I hope that the love of your friends and family will help to sustain you.
Love and peace
bugger!! :(
Sending you a big hug because I really don't know what else to do or say.
Love and peace be with you
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