while my guitar (and every bloody thing else) gently weeps

I'm not often reduced to tears.

Animal cruelty or those NSPCC adverts will do it and The Notebook, but generally I'm fairly stoical.

However,

MY F*CKING DISHWASHER HAS JUST EMPTIED ITSELF ON THE FLOOR AND THEN DIED.

AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!
weeping, seriously weeping sniff
and eating chocolate and drinking hic