But this ______________________________________________________________ is a line in the metaphoric sand and if I don't move on past it, I will become more bitter and twisted than I already am, which is quite dark and twisty enough for both of me.
It's tricky though isn't it? Moving on. Easier to say than do. And doing is some how important because if you don't 'do', what ever it is; you stay stuck like some log jam of nothingness while the river of doingness and life flows round you. And when I say you, you know I mean me, don't you?
So how, good people, do you do it? Where do you find the purpose in your daily bread?
You would think, wouldn't you? That having been nearly dead, I would grasp life in both hands and say woohoo! I would know what it was I'm supposed to be doing. I should feel grateful, but instead I feel guilty. I feel ... paused. II
And I don't know where the I> play button is.
20 comments:
What you need is a good dealer! Seriously, that's a tough one. I think time is the best processor of such stuff, and you have a lot to process! So don't beat yourself up. Is there something you've always wanted to do and have the time (and hopefully the energy) now to do it? Like learn an instrument or train your dog to do tricks or volunteer at an animal shelter? I find that having a focus is the best way to put the bullshit behind me. Just a thought. Sending hugs!
I was going to say the exact same thing as Andrea. When I needed to move on I booked saxophone lessons. I'd never played any instrument before and couldn't read music at all. It was something totally new to focus on. It helped me very slowly to step forward... It also broadened my social life.
Sx
Stuff the musical instruments. I would set about stalking him at night and taking out a private perjury prosecution and leaving scary little notes on his windscreen.
Still, that's just easy-going old me...
Well, you've made me laugh twice today already, so that's a good start.
for me?
a good piece of music
a good book
a pair of binoculars and look at some stunning wildlife.
pick up my camera and go photograph the world.
failing that a lump of cake
Lots of good ideas coming in, Zig. Not entirely sure about that old softy over in Norfolk...
Playing chauffeur in a minute, but will come back...
Big ( hug ) x
1> That's the button I'm supposed to push? Bugger me!
There, see! You could have a whole career, teaching duffers like moi how to work the video wotsit.
Find something that is FUN. Not necessarily useful, for you or for anyone else, but something that you enjoy doing for its own sake. And just in case (on the off chance you understand) you are too nice to do so, I am wishing painful hemmorhoids on your ex. Painful, undignified and preferrably incurable.
Talk to people, often. Even a chat about the weather and the price of rice is good for you.
And all of the suggestions above as well.
Oh and all of what Rog said but I'd be inclined to do it to the judge.
(Some one I know says if you'd like a duffed up Ex, that can be arranged.)
xxx
Oh and read funny books! Laughing, singing and talking are all good for you :)
Oh no! Who is this person wallowing in self pity? I don't know her.
Me? I've bought a ukelele and can play 3 chords, and just now I walked in the moonlight and looked at the stars.
Thank you all, for putting with the whining and the bad spelling you know I love you all xxx
Insert 'up' where necessary :)
A ukelele? Oh brilliant! You can be in our cyberorchestra! I haven't bought my uke yet, but as I haven't seen my original one for 50 odd (very odd!) years, I think I should buy a new one.
I'd really like a banjo, but...
Must tell Daisyfae.
The play button is still at the development stage; you are paused because you need to be, while you find a way forward. Good news about the uke...take it over the road and get people to join in. I do, with mine, except I don't go over the road, people come to me and we make a mad crazy noise and laugh a lot. Hugs, love you, xxxxxxxx
People are the best help. Pour it all out to someone you trust and then don't dwell on it, because it just reinforces the hurt, and then get on with being sociable, because when you're chatting and laughing it's a good distraction. Music is very good too, listening or playing, but it has to be exactly the right music for your mood, to lift you up without demanding too much. Don't exhaust yourself, but getting as tired as you can bear is fine because then you're more likely to sleep. And take any little bit of happiness you can grab, because it all stores up without you realising. Love you Zigs xxxx
E and Z thank you and thank you.
Sorry I haven't been around to keep up with things. I've been Sorting Out Stuff.
Obviously it's my fault for not cheering loudly enough on the sidelines... or for contributing my ten pence worth about leaving a domestic violence situation - that arsewipe was a psychologist would you believe? And the best revenge has been forgetting about him.
It is possible. What I did was find people who were so much better and nicer than the Dybbuk. You've got so much support going on here Zig, you'll manage it too.
Macy! I thought the Buddhists must have got you. Is Sorting Out Stuff the same as Sorting Stuff Out? Is SOS more physical and SSO more emotional? Am, I over-thinking this d'you think?!
hey, ZigZ, just to let you know that NOT moving on is a sad alternative, but an alternative none the less
I am speaking/writing from personal experience. . .
\-:
I haven't. . .
everyone else has (exactly as you describe in your piece) and it is really odd to still be stuck
/-:
however, the one thing that happens (even to someone who is stuck) is that time does heal you
so - what I'm struggling and failing to say eloquently - is that there is no rush
if you are not going anywhere, then just make the most of where you are - which (I hope) is a better place than where you were
this is not a defeatist attitude. . . it just recognises that we're not all action man or super woman
sometimes it occurs to me that I am really bored - but that is oh so much of an improvement on being super stressed and very depressed!
XXX
I,LTV
(and sometimes I suffer from agrophobia, which stops me from getting out and about, but we won't dwell on that here!)
I,LTV here is ok isn't it? It's important to remember that sometimes, thank you. xx
as long as it is an improvement (however small) on where you were, even if it is not where you'd ideally like to be
that's all I was trying to say
hugs darling, big xmassy ones with jingle bells and sparkly tinsel and a vague scent of pine. . . and maybe a small piece of chocolate and a snifter or something alcoholic perhaps!
XXX
(someone used to say to me "good enough is good enough" cos sometimes things just aren't perfect!)
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