No sex please we're British (ish)

When my parents divorced and the joint properties were sold, my mother moved to a new house by the sea-side. She treated herself to new bed on her move, an all singing and dancing affair that lifted your head or feet or both I imagine, at the press of a button. I didn't think much about it at the time but it was a single bed. She wasn't that much older than I am now, so this morning I am pondering the significance of the singleness. Especially as when moving here to my single existence, I bought a double bed. Currently I sleep with one or two dogs and assorted passing cats so there's not much room for anyone else, but did I buy a double (and it never crossed my mind to buy a single) because somewhere in my subconscious I don't want to sleep alone? ? ? It's a worrying thought because I believe that I quite like living alone. It's the first time in my life that I have done this. I have never before lived in a home that didn't contain at least one other human being. And it's liberating. And selfish, in that I only have my self to please, not counting of course the two dogs, four cats, four chickens, two rabbits and two ponies that need attention now and then. I eat when I like, sleep when I like, watch whatever I like on the telly and the remote is MINE. That will change a bit in a biggish sort of way when I return to work sometime in the nearish future, but not the essence of doing as I please. Now I'm starting to feel better I feel like a kid let loose in a toy shop, so why suddenly am I looking at my bed and wondering why I bought a double. Why would I want to share this oh so peaceful and self centred existence for god's sake? Perhaps I need a cold shower which is funny because I did unexpectedly have one this morning as the boiler seems to have gone on strike. It wasn't as much fun as those mad Scandinavians claim. And yesterday I made red currant jelly. Perhaps my subconscious is trying to save me from myself before I turn into a mad old cat (dog, pony, rabbit, chicken) woman with a shopping trolley and woolly hat. Which is another striking coincidence because when I was in hospital last month they gave me a brown woolly hat from the chemo hat and wig corner because no-one else liked it but I did. I wonder where I can get such a useful thing as a shopping trolley? (ps I did put paragraphs honest, but blogger as decided to ignore them again, perhaps because I'm using the iPad?)