As you can see I've stolen the heading from dear Kaz because there's no easy way to tell people and everyone has their problems - they're mostly just different.
I have ovarian cancer which I didn't discover until it was really quite advanced and inoperable - just thought I'd become plump! It wasn't until I couldn't breath properly because the tumour was restricting lungs (but not in them thank goodness) that I went to the GP, from the scan it was about 30cm! Bastard, I gave up chocolate for nothing! Of course backache is also a classic symptom but who'd have thought that with my history?
They cover the chemo with a blue bag - I have no idea why!
I've had 2 lots of chemo - I reacted badly to the first lot and ended up within the hallowed walls of SDH via a midnight ambulance which wasn't as exciting as I'd imagined but they did have some jolly nice drugs on board. This put off the second (diff) chemo for a couple of weeks while I languished about trying to get stronger. I had the 2nd chemo last Thursday and only time will tell whether it will react badly or do the biz - I feel reasonably alive and the tumour has definitely shrunk a little (I've lost 5 kg). After the 3rd Chemo it may become operable, if not another round of chemo and a rethink.
Also, to add fun to the mix, I have moved out and live alone in a tiny wee witche's cottage - which has both it's ups and downs (2 staircases!). It's a bit scary on my own coping with symptoms etc, but so much better than the life I had which turned out to be somewhat of a disappointment. That's it, 1 door 2 windows, 12 foot wide.
And in it there is:
Bertie Beans, Wiltshire Terrierist (copywrite Oz)
and Leo the pirate, Tiger and Dolce - we all just about fit.
Please forgive spelling mistakes, poor grammar and news - what can I say? I lurk about reading your fb and blogs when I can, I don't often feel up to commenting, which means, apparently I'm stalking!
It's a job :)
Linda xx
49 comments:
Oh Sweetheart! I'm so sorry, what a hugely unfair thing to happen.
Question is, can you eat chocolate now?
My God! 30cm!! That's huge.
Well, lots and lots of love and fingers crossed for the chemo working. I'll get in touch - but meanwhile big hugs.
xxxxxxx
Thanks Mig, unfortunately can't say I feel much like eating chocolate at the moment - most unfair, and fizzzz tastes just yuck. But, I haven't lost appetite completely, had a delicious bacon sandwich just now! Frightening small children with my lack of hair at the moment as they trick or treat their way round the village :)
x x x x
Love you, Ziggy and am sending the best vibes ever your way.
Carmie
ah Carmie, thanks lovie, xxxx
Di and I are coming to take care of you and make you laugh. But since we live on different continents (and they're both different continents from yours) she doesn't know yet! xo
Oh me dear Ziggy-Zig-Zig.
I'm relieved that you're letting others know..I told you that there are friends out here who will refuse to let you try and plow through this fkn nightmare on your own...although you do have an impressive menagerie underfoot.
You've always been so ridiculously funny and I've always loved your insightful remarks about how curious and bizarre the world is. You were always so punctual at good at writing complimentary tidbits on my bloggity thingamabob that I couldn't even tell if you were faking it! ;)
Now I am totally pissed off at whatever invisible forces did this to you. I fully expect a complete turnaround and apology...followed by an extraordinarily long bit of abundance scattered with frequent bouts of over-stimulation.
I know it's a pain getting blogger to cooperate so just keep this window open so that I can sneak in whenever I like. I'm sure you're tired of all the pokes but I meant well. :)
xxxooo
always here, Donn
We're all with you - hope that doesn't make things too much worse.
love and peace.
NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Ziggi this is ridiculous! Just give Bertie Beans a huge hug and let's all keep some good vibes coming your way.
Don't wilt in Wilts. We are all rooting for you in your little house
Mrs Rine, Rog Oz & Lil xxxx
Zig - You posted on my blog once - which gives me the right to come over and yell NOOOOOOOO!!!
No No No No No No No No
Because I am good at this sort of useless yelling.
But I know it is truly shit being sick when you are alone.
And I will come by, if that's alright, to yell whatever encouragement and sympathy I can.
XO
Hi, Rog mentioned you might like some company, so I thought I'd rock up with some wagon wheels and a bottle of wine.
I'm so sorry for your news.
And no, you don't face this alone hon.
Thinking of you, Ziggi, and sending good vibes. x
If you want some company and it might be me, let me know and I'll drop everything and be with you next day. Love you, honey xxx
Hello m'dear! Please feel free to lurk anywhere you wish! I will eat the unwanted chocolate and I'm loving your cats and dog.
Sxx
Yay! The best witch in Wiltshire is back!
Me and Andrea coming to cheer you up? What a bloody good idea! Three different continents? We'd probably all laugh ourselves INcontinent!
Ziggi, you know what a gang of determined bloggers can do. Forget the Occupy movement, let's occupy Ziggi's cottage.
(Big hug to Vicus for not saying anything about the bacon butty!)
I just came over from Z's to wish you all the very best and to send you virtual hugs and good vibes.
Just when I thought there was nothing worse than being a Wolves fan. . .
Seriously, much love from all of us in the Far North, Malc xx
Hello. Z sent me. Is this the parole for tonight?
Just off to the PO while everyone else is hiding from the boss cos it's Melbourne Cup Day and nobody works! (Except my old man!)
Dinahmow sent me. I am the other recipient of her generosity. I was tempted to stalk and run away, but felt I should come out of the undergrowth. I am so so sorry. Awful. And what is it with chemotherapy and that blue. When I had a mild dose of chemo last year (MS not cancer) I pissed that colour blue for two days. Sending good wishes your way. And I love your menagerie.
Sending my best wishes from over the border, in Hants, to add to the pile already surrounding you.
Hello Ziggi. We've read your blog a couple of times. you are in our thoughts and prayers. And I love the look of your cottage.
Warm regards, Mike and Ann.
oh fu*ck! bugger! shit! and so on
darling - I'm sending strength vibes (to you, not the tumour) via the ether and lots of love thru the blue skies above and big hugs thru the cat network (I'm sure they have opposable thumbs really, they just like to let us think we're the ones in control) and and and
bugger! f*ck! shit!
as Mr Manwaring (not sure how that's supposed to be spelt) would say: DON'T PANIC
keep calm and keep up the fight
all my loveliest love, honey, and a whole bunch more from my Teens
XXX
(unbelievable word ver: primeimp. . . you or me?)
Dear Ziggy - you don't know me from Adam (or Eve yet)but we have mutual friends. Over this past year my husband was diagnosed with cancer - had two ops and six months chemo. Throughout we were sustained by people's kindness,medical and surgical skill and support from our family and our blogging family and I hope you will have the same with what seems to be a good outcome - we never take anything for granted.
If you don't mind I shall add you to my prayers and send lots of positive vibes and good wishes.Pat
Rog sent me. Good luck and all the best. Start eating chocolate! You are very upbeat, which is just wonderful. Love Pirate the cat...
Visiting via Z.
Sending best wishes your way.
Hello Ziggy, I am Dinahmow's friend and we live in the same town. I am so sorry you are having
such a lousy deal in life at present but there is heaps of support coming your way and I wish you all the best.
sorry to read that Ziggy. thinking of you
Hi Zig, I've not commented on your blog before, but I've visited in the past, and read your comments on others' blogs. I believe you've even been kind enough to grace my own blog with your friendly words in times gone by!
So sorry to hear your news - my heart goes out to you - but you clearly have a lovely home, some gorgeous pets, and some even more brilliant daughters. Here's wishing you the fullest and speediest of recoveries, and the happiest of days ahead. xxx
Well, that really is tough news. I hope the chemo works quickly and you have a very fast recovery. Z sent me. Lots of hugs.
Sending you all possible powerful, good vibes. Mentally sending your tumour into outer space. All the best to you and get well as quickly as possible.
I came Via Mig, and I am also sending BIG giant hugs and lots of love and all that that you feel better soon! ( and kick this cancer in the but!)
<-- came with Mig's permission (you can blame her at will..LOL)
Last round of chemo I had, I asked about the sudden appearance of this not so lovely blue bag (much duller than the one you show here). Prior to that the warning signs for the contents were the brunt of my sic sense of humor with my'going to get poisoned, now!' routine.
I was told the lovely covers were an attempt to keep that ucky/foreboding/dangerwarninglethalcontents 'under wraps' and hopefully lessen some of the anxiety it produced for some folks. Dunno if that's the same line of thinking 'across the pond'--but it's not an 'all bad' line of thinking, I guess?
You're graced to have some very smart, very loving, very persevering children. Clearly they've been beyond supportive.
Cancer sucks.
Chemo sucks.
Losing hair sucks.
Being loved well.......makes it all suck less.
And you are well loved.
Plus you have cool hats. :-)
A day at a time-- Let people love you well.
We'll be rooting for you.
About the blue bags...um, not sure how helpful this is, but banana growers here cover the ripening bunches with similar bright blue bags. They say it keeps the bats off.
Perhaps you can get some mileage from this next time you're in for an "oil change."
dinah sent me, too, as part of the "Occupy" movement... will be cheering madly for the chemicals to do some good for you!
Well, I've come via Z's blog. I'll be thinking lots and lots of positive thoughts. I'm a cynical romantic who believes heart and soul that love changes the world, every day. So, having seen your profile picture, I thought it only appropriate to share the Greatest Blonde Joke in the World Ever with you.
Blonde lady walks into a library, and says to the librarian: "Excuse me, do you sell kebabs?"
The librarian looks at her, and replies simply: "No. This is a library."
The blonde gets a little flustered and embarrassed, and responds: "I'm so sorry!" *drops her voice to a whisper* "Do you sell kebabs?"
Well holy henshit Batman.
I am just finding out about this THIS second, so please accept with apologies my stupid surprise. I am aghast.
I have probably a million things to say, but no space to say it. All I can say is you are lovely. I am more than crossing everything for you.
Be well. Be strong. As strong as you want to be, because it's tiring, but as strong as you can be.
Happy Saturday my darling.
Just popping by to see how you're doing today.
Now, the question is: red or white wine? I brought both. Please tell me you can have a glass? Or is it now verboten? In which case, I'll have the red and we'll leave the white for any visitors.
Hugs to you my dear.
wondered where my bombay sapphire went?? naughty Leo..he's on the gin now then !Hope you are enjoying w/e with the girls .See you soon xxxxxxxxxxx
I think we need a bit of a roster. Or at least a list!
Roses: lovely thought. You get smashed on red and line up the white for the other lushes.
Ziggi, when you're able, please tell us what sort of foodstuffs we should bring. (We already know you enjoyed a bacon sarnie, but what else excites your tastebuds?)
OK, that's enough for now or your email in-box will wear you out!
Love to Kirsty(and her sisterwhomihavenotyetmet)
Oh heck.
Best of luck (and bacon butties!) with the chemo, hope it's all good news sooner rather than later.
Hey - just dropping by to say hello.
Thinking of you Ziggi dear.
xxxmig
Lots of love, hope things are good for Christmas xxx
Hello Ziggs...hope the Christmas gets you bouncing like a Christmas Bauble. And good work to those girls of yours....we're all still thinking of you
Happy new year Zig!
Just called in to quickly wish you the best of luck for the new year... and dust off that bottle of white Roses left earlier.....
Hello Zig - I am a bit late with my wellwishes, but they are heartfeld: All the best to You for the New Year!
Ziggi, it's me, kj, a voice from the past
Aw jeez. You are as ever your best self. My prayers and blessings will follow you and your animals and your children. If you happen to see healing blue balloons in the sky, they're probably from me
With love
kj
I came via dinahmow too. I'm glad she's going to visit you, though I wish the circumstances were better
Popped by to see how you are?
Sxxxx
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